Thursday, March 3, 2016 (“Shanghai Noodle Factory” by Traffic)

I’ve been trying to get myself to calm down. Last night I pretty much dropped dead from fatigue. That’s because the night before, I only got about two hours of sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well lately. My thoughts are keeping me up at night. I’m worried about the job situation. It’s more than just worrying about money and running out of it soon. I really don’t have much self-worth anymore. It’d be easy to point the finger at companies who post jobs that I well qualified for but don’t respond to applications. That would probably be true but I don’t think it would solve anything. I need to get a job by hook or by crook. I’ve signed up for about five job fairs over the next month and a half. I don’t know if that’s everything I can do. I’ve begun to expand my search beyond the Delaware Valley. A couple of these fairs are in Baltimore. I’ll start there and keep going.

I’m trying to be positive by hijacking the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones but that’s not always successful. I feel like the next couple of weeks are critical for me to maintain my slender grip on reality. It’s been pretty rough for me mentally. But I guess the only way to break through this rough patch in my life is to keep on plugging along.

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