Tuesday, February 9, 2016 (“Everybody Needs A Friend” by Wishbone Ash)

Let’s see… what’s been going on since I last wrote? Michelle’s thing down in Virginia Beach seems to have fallen through. They had been sort of communicating through e-mails at a very slow speed. Excruciatingly slow speed. Anyway, Michelle sort of laid her cards down telling her more or less the ballpark range she needed to get down there. They came back with half of that. At some point it’s fairly insulting to come back at half. Anyway, I think we were both relieved in the end. I didn’t really want to go down there and I don’t think she wanted to either.

All of this postpones any discussion of us breaking up over her lack of an answer in the question about starting a family. She’s not going anywhere and I still don’t have a job yet. The place in Bensalem said they’d need another few weeks to be able to move any further. I know they have work to do apart from interviewing but two months all in all is a pretty long time. I’m hopeful and my low point in what I’d accept is not something I’ve thought terribly deeply about. Sure, I’d like to get as much money as I possibly can but how low is too low? I suppose at this point, something is better than nothing. But as it turned out with the last job, they might want to dick me around on the salary or benefits, etc. Taking a job means that you can’t really have another job. I just hope things turn out for the best with the job.

Thursday, I’m going down to my parents’ place to get a physical. I still have my health insurance set up down there. I never bothered to set up one up here because I had always hoped to move back over to Pennsylvania. Anyway, the insurance is down there and I haven’t had a check up in ages and I’m not doing a whole lot as it is. That could be like killing two birds with one stone. Maybe three. I can get this check up done. I can visit with my parents whom I haven’t spent a whole lot of time with in a while. I haven’t been down to Virginia since August (I think). Also, Michelle always seems to be in a better mood when I’m gone for a little bit. I guess she’s able to get things done that need doing and I probably distract her from that.

This feeling of living between the gaps is still going on. I’m waiting for something to turn up. I’m not as desperate in my attitude as I had been before I took my last job. I guess I realized that having a shitty job that makes me hate my life is much, much worse than not having one at all. I’m a little restless but I don’t want to die. That’s always a positive. I’m getting more time in at the gym. I’m cleaning up around the house. I’m doing some favors for Michelle around the house. But still, living between the gaps of jobs and some sort of firm foundation isn’t a whole lot of fun. I guess that it’s good that I am learning to deal with the stress of an uncertain future career-wise, family-wise, relationship-wise. But I think as far as the second two, I think that I should at least get what I want. It might not be when and exactly under the circumstances I want, but I think I should get it. As far as the career is concerned, I just have to find someone out there willing to pay me in the range of what I want. I guess that’s what the next little bit of time is about. As for the family/relationship thing, I think I’ll try to press a little harder. I’m tired of being told “I don’t know”.

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