Yesterday, Michelle and I spent a lot of the day together. We didn’t do a whole lot beyond going to the supermarket. But it was good. Days like that make me wonder why our whole relationship is so much in the air. It would be silly for us not to come to some agreement. It’s not everyday that you come across someone that fits so well with you, so much so I have to question why it might come to an end soon.
I just do not want to go down to Virginia Beach without some sort of guarantee that my life with Michelle is going the way I want it to. I don’t think it’s fair to drag me down there without some understanding of where our relationship is going. I always wonder when the subject is brought up about a family whether or not it’s just to talk about things like that or if it’s a genuine attempt to build a common plan of how the family would be built. I’m not so much talking about when the kid(s) would be born, etc. I mean mostly our attitudes about how to raise them. I really want to build a foundation of attitudes towards other people and life in general before I lose a lot of control over that when he/she/they get old enough that peers become a very large influence over them.
I understand now the craziness of raising a kid these days. Parents don’t have a lot of control over their kids because kids are influenced by friends, TV, internet, etc. I don’t think I was really influenced by internet very much because it really wasn’t that big of a thing, not like it is now. That’s just the times being a factor in all of this. But, for example, phones. I’m not buying a phone for my kid to zone out on just because his/her shithead friends have one. I don’t give a fuck about what your friends think. They’re idiotic kids who don’t know a thing. I think you’ve got to be firm on such things. Oh well, we’ll see. I will try my hardest not to cave on as much as possible.