Thursday, October 15, 2015 (“Am I Evil?” by Diamond Head)

Still no word about the Las Vegas thing. It’s been almost two weeks since we were out there. I think it’s fair to say that both Michelle and I are getting pretty impatient about the whole situation. I think she’s impatient mostly because of her work. This whole thing is a step from a known shitty situation toward a fairly certain (you can never be too sure about walking into a new workplace) for her. It would be a step from a known shitty situation into an absolute unknown. I have no idea what is available for me to do out there. I guess I’m getting so desperate about my situation that I’m willing to pick up and move myself to the fucking desert. You’ve got to be pretty unhappy about your life if you’re willing to do that.
One thing that has been on my mind in the last few weeks, since I’ve been doing pretty much nothing over that period, is staring at people who aren’t temps and wondering what they’ve got and I haven’t got. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got education. I’m very good at making long tasks shorter and making tricky tasks more certain. Apparently that’s not worth too much them here.
One other thing that’s been on my mind is what I’ll say to them whenever it is that I do leave here. Suppose that the job comes through for her, I’ll have to quit to move out there. I know from one other “temp” (just using that word for my job is an absolute joke) that our boss did an informal exit interview. I have no idea about the details of what they talked about. I just don’t know how I will approach it. I don’t have a job lined up and I have been here so long, that I would like to use the place as a reference. But just doing a cursory google search on exit interviews makes me a bit nervous.  Most of the pages say, just keep your bad thoughts to yourself and try not to burn any bridges. Suppose, I was asked: Would you recommend this place to work? I would want to be honest and say – No fucking way! Every temp you’ve ever had here has been absolutely miserable. I don’t think that would go down very well. On the other hand, is it fair to keep absolutely quiet about the place? The question is not being asked in order to elicit a right or wrong answer, it’s probably a genuine question meant to find out what the experience of someone in my role is and how things are generally seen through the eyes of someone in my situation. Should I deny them that, especially if it might help someone about to enter in my place? There’s an old Greek proverb (not too old to me – I only heard it for the first time a few years ago), “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” That’s a very nice idea – to make the world a better place for someone who’s not me or someone I’ll never know. It’s especially nice, because it will require no sacrifice on my part. I don’t have to suffer through anything. I don’t actually have to grow a tree. I only have to tell him that it sucks working at this place. I’ve been fairly miserable for some time now and a whole lot of that is down to the environment where I’ve been working.
I still haven’t decided what it is that I’ll actually say. I’ll probably go somewhere between venting and stonewalling. Another thought occurred to me. More of a question. How many more of these brutal commutes am I going to do? How many more times will I walk down the steps from the parking lot to the front door of this place? How many more cups of tea will I drink here? I don’t know. But I’m hoping for single digits.
“Thursday, October 15, 2015 (“Am I Evil?” by Diamond Head)
Still no word about the Las Vegas thing. It’s been almost two weeks since we were out there. I think it’s fair to say that both Michelle and I are getting pretty impatient about the whole situation. I think she’s impatient mostly because of her work. This whole thing is a step from a known shitty situation toward a fairly certain (you can never be too sure about walking into a new workplace) for her. It would be a step from a known shitty situation into an absolute unknown. I have no idea what is available for me to do out there. I guess I’m getting so desperate about my situation that I’m willing to pick up and move myself to the fucking desert. You’ve got to be pretty unhappy about your life if you’re willing to do that.
One thing that has been on my mind in the last few weeks, since I’ve been doing pretty much nothing over that period, is staring at people who aren’t temps and wondering what they’ve got and I haven’t got. I’ve got intelligence. I’ve got education. I’m very good at making long tasks shorter and making tricky tasks more certain. Apparently that’s not worth too much them here.
One other thing that’s been on my mind is what I’ll say to them whenever it is that I do leave here. Suppose that the job comes through for her, I’ll have to quit to move out there. I know from one other “temp” (just using that word for my job is an absolute joke) that our boss did an informal exit interview. I have no idea about the details of what they talked about. I just don’t know how I will approach it. I don’t have a job lined up and I have been here so long, that I would like to use the place as a reference. But just doing a cursory google search on exit interviews makes me a bit nervous.  Most of the pages say, just keep your bad thoughts to yourself and try not to burn any bridges. Suppose, I was asked: Would you recommend this place to work? I would want to be honest and say – No fucking way! Every temp you’ve ever had here has been absolutely miserable. I don’t think that would go down very well. On the other hand, is it fair to keep absolutely quiet about the place? The question is not being asked in order to elicit a right or wrong answer, it’s probably a genuine question meant to find out what the experience of someone in my role is and how things are generally seen through the eyes of someone in my situation. Should I deny them that, especially if it might help someone about to enter in my place? There’s an old Greek proverb (not too old to me – I only heard it for the first time a few years ago), “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” That’s a very nice idea – to make the world a better place for someone who’s not me or someone I’ll never know. It’s especially nice, because it will require no sacrifice on my part. I don’t have to suffer through anything. I don’t actually have to grow a tree. I only have to tell him that it sucks working at this place. I’ve been fairly miserable for some time now and a whole lot of that is down to the environment where I’ve been working.
I still haven’t decided what it is that I’ll actually say. I’ll probably go somewhere between venting and stonewalling. Another thought occurred to me. More of a question. How many more of these brutal commutes am I going to do? How many more times will I walk down the steps from the parking lot to the front door of this place? How many more cups of tea will I drink here? I don’t know. But I’m hoping for single digits.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s